


When I'm Gone

by RomeoandAntoinette



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Pining, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24957433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomeoandAntoinette/pseuds/RomeoandAntoinette
Summary: Yu Narukami’s time in Inaba is coming to an end. He wants to leave the town and friends he loves with only positive memories, which means that he can't find the nerve to confess his love to his best friend and partner Yosuke Hanamura. The prospect of shattering of their bond is too daunting. Instead, he channels all his feelings into a secret letter that he hides between the stones at the town’s overlook, their favorite place. He never dreamed that Yosuke would return to that spot and find the letter mere hours after his departure. [Post-game fic] [Fluff] [SouYo]
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 14
Kudos: 118





	1. 1

Yu Narukami couldn’t sleep a wink.

His head and heart were racing with the realization that in one day _–_ just over twenty-four hours from now _–_ he would be boarding a train back to Tokyo and leaving the town of Inaba behind.

Even if all his belongings hadn't been packed in an opposing mountain near his bedroom door, he sill wouldn’t have been able to stop thinking about it. There was something cloying, like static cling on a freshly dried pullover, about the brutal truth that he would have to return back to his regular abode in just one day.

Part of his predicament was hilarious, he realized.

If he had the ability to go back in time and tell his past self from a year ago that the tiny village of Inaba and his time with its residents would change his life forever, his old self would have probably laughed outright or at least pinched his normally dour face in an expression of doubt.

The reaction would have made sense. How was he to have guessed that a handful of precious friends would emerge from just one year of living in his new home? He wouldn’t have believed it himself if he hadn’t experienced the transformation firsthand.

There were so many things that he loved about the town. He loved living with Dojima and Nanako so much that leaving them made his entire chest ache. Yu felt like he was leaving his real father and little sister behind.

In addition to townsfolk and other students that had left distinct swatches on his life’s otherwise blank canvas, there was the Investigation Team. He would never forget Chie’s bravery or Yukiko’s stone-cold determination. Kanji and Naoto had thought him lessons about self-expression that he would save in the safest part of his brain for days when people felt especially cold and judgmental. Rise and Teddie had taught him the power of introspection, and the value of looking inward for love and passion, even if the engine creating those feelings was powered by a mysterious force. All that mattered was that the motor was running, technicalities be damned.

Then, there was Yosuke Hanamura.

Yosuke had taught him that the world was unfair. That the world dealt people terrible hands that were as distressing at best and paralyzing at worse.

It was just as terrible and unfair that they would become separated so soon after finding each other. They’d eclipsed for a year, a literal blip in time in the universe, and would start moving away from each other.

He’d also taught Yu the power of change, and that there was no grandiose secret to living a good life. There was no definition behind what it meant to be a success. Instead, the only measure of life that mattered was happiness and contentedness. He’d even given him a hands-on lesson in the power of growing and adapting to whatever punches life dealt. When life tried to attack from the southpaw, instead of fleeing and falling back, Yosuke had taught him the validity of taking the punch and using it as fuel to strike back even harder.

Some of those strikes had left literal bruises after a brawl on the Samegawa Riverbank, but he wouldn’t have traded the pleasure-pain for anything else in the world.

Yosuke wasn’t the only one who had changed. Yu had followed suit.

Seeing his closest companions awaken his new mindset had affected Yu more strongly than he ever thought it could.

Yosuke had adopted his new open-mindedness and zest for life with poise and grace most people wish they had as a teen, Yu included. In the last few months alone, he watched Yosuke take a liking to studying and take his academics more seriously with each passing test. Even at Junes, where he had every right to hate his daily laundry list of menial tasks, he was working with his dad on successful business management while simultaneously having a hand in making Teddie their official unofficial mascot, which was already creating tangible benefits on their capital reports. Speaking of Teddie, Yosuke had adopted a brotherly role with him much like Yu had with Nanako.

It was like his partner was running literal circles in the sand, and Yu was clumsily trying to fit his feet into the same footprints.

He knew, soon enough, Yosuke wouldn’t run so far ahead that he’d never look back. One year made little difference when someone was reborn with an entire life ahead of them.

Yu, on the other hand, would go back to his parents’ normal apartment and his normal school. He would become anonymous again in a concrete sea of millions. Another wallet in the economy, another pair of eyes on a skyscraper security camera, another body to account for on the subway platforms. He was a paper doll that would return to the blank sheet of paper that he was cut from.

The notch he’d carved for himself in Inaba couldn’t follow him back. The others wouldn’t be with him.

Yosuke wouldn’t be with him.

Yu closed his eyes against the darkness and threw a forearm over his eyes. In the process, his hand banged on the nearby nightstand and sent a shockwave of pain all the way up his elbow. As he held his inflamed hand close to his chest, he saw the notebook and pen lying atop the table. He’d used the notebook to create a to-do list for packing and tidying up the room and had left it out to make sure he didn’t forget any additional odds or ends come move-out.

As he pulled himself upright and stared at the pages, an idea came into his head.

Pen in hand, he began the entry with two words at the top left of the page:

_Dear Yosuke…_

From there, the words poured forth like a stream. He treated the page like a diary entry, only instead of speaking to an inanimate object, he pretended he was actually writing the letter to Yosuke. He manifested his feelings into reality by hastily scrawling them down faster than he could stop himself from filtering anything. He wanted to get everything out. All the sweet, sticky feelings clogging up his heart and brain poured onto the page in the form of one saccharine line after another.

Finally, after one quick survey of his work and a few grammatical fixes, he signed it.

_…Love, Yu._

When he pulled away and surveyed the note, he wondered what the next step was. He obviously didn’t want to mail it, but it would only depress him if he held onto the note.

Then, an idea dawned on him.

Perhaps there was a way for a small part of him to stay in Inaba after all.

The next day, Yu went to the overlook where he and Yosuke had spent multiple occasions together. It was a favorite spot for both of them, proven by the countless evenings they’d gathered at the peak to share snacks after school or watch the stars on clear winter nights. It served as the backdrop for many memories that Yu would carry with him back to Tokyo.

It was the perfect spot to leave his gift.

After another quick glance to make sure nobody was around, Yu crept up to a small stone barrier lining the dirt path leading up to the secluded spot. He chose a spot where there was a slightly larger gap between the stones and wedged the folded note into the crevice. It was a snug fit, which was all the better. That meant someone was less likely to accidentally stumble upon it.

He gave the stone a sentimental pat before pushing off against the wall and approaching the pathway again.

Before he left, he turned and drank in one last look at the sweeping view before him.

Then, to nobody and everybody all at once, he smiled sadly.

“Goodbye, Inaba.”

* * *

Saying goodbye to Yu was heartbreaking.

Yosuke had spent the night before the send-off practicing in reaction in his bathroom mirror. He wrote down things he wanted to say, rehearsed a plethora of happy reactions, and practiced trying not to cry over and over. The last one needed a lot of work, but by the time the fateful event rolled around, he had gotten decently good at it.

There was so much he wanted to tell his partner, but with so many people also vying for his attention (including literal blood relatives) the teen knew it would be unfair of him to soak up all the attention.

When it came time to face the music, Yosuke found himself staring at stormy gray eyes instead of the honey-brown ones he’d practiced within the mirror.

He felt so close to breaking. Just breathing slowly was painful.

Somehow, Yosuke was able to hold it together and send his partner off with encouraging words. No matter how much he was crumbling on the inside at the idea of his best friend not being within arm’s reach anymore, he knew that distance would never keep them apart.

“You better come back soon, you here?” Yosuke teased as he raised his hand to the level of his eyes.

Yu chuckled and mirrored the action.

Their forearms bumped and their hands lowered to their beltlines, where their palms met with a loud clap and remained together in a firm, interlaced grip. It was a secret handshake, of sorts.

“I’m already making plans,” Yu said, not lying one bit about that. “How about tomorrow?”

Yosuke laughed. “Dude, you have no idea how much I want that.”

Something in Yu’s expression softened. He whispered back, “I think I do know.”

The fawn-haired teen didn’t know what to make of the statement. In fact, he was so stunned by the admission that his tongue felt clumsy in his mouth as he searched his brain for the correct, eloquent phrase to reply with.

When no words brimmed to the surface, he decided to be earnest.

“Man, I’m going to miss you,” Yosuke said, his voice becoming whispery. “It’s not going to be the same until you come back.”

Yu stared on, eyes crinkling but not closing at the sight.

“I’ll miss you too,” Yu said as he squeezed his companion’s shoulder for the last time in a few months. “Don’t get too used to me being gone, okay?”

The fawn-haired teen shook his head hard enough to hear his brain rattle. “Never.”

A train whistle, like trumpets announcing the apocalypse, pierced their tender conversation.

The time limit was up.

After a few more tearful goodbyes, Yu grabbed his duffel and inched onto the train. He’d never walked slower in his entire life.

While all the other passengers flocked to their seats, Yu stayed at the window and kept waving. Even as the train began to roll away from the platform, he didn’t budge.

The rest of the Investigation Team, Yosuke included, ran alongside the platform as far as the structure would carry them. They shouted a symphony of goodbyes and tender messages to their silver-haired leader, who beamed at them from beyond the glass.

His smile only faded when the train sped up and accelerated from the platform.

Then, just like that, he was gone.

* * *

The rest of the evening passed in a series of nondescript blurs. Yosuke vaguely remembered wiping his eyes and waving goodbye to the other team members, who were all just as depressed and deflated as he was.

He knew Yu would return soon, but the day seemed so far off.

Already longing to rekindle some of the same lightness he’d felt when his partner was physically present beside him, the teen found himself drifting toward Inaba’s overlook. It was the highest point in the city, and one of Yosuke’s favorite places to visit with his partner and alone.

When the stress of the world created intense pressure on their shoulders that threatened to shatter their bodies and spirits, the duo flocked to the meeting spot and used the high point to survey the small village. It was easy to feel overwhelmed under the crushing weight of trying to solve a murder mystery while also subverting detection by both the killer and the police.

Something about viewing the city from above put all their battles into a better perspective. Things looked less intimidating when viewed from above, and the town of Inaba was no exception.

As Yosuke ambled up the dirt path and settled against his usual spot against the stone wall, the teen glazed briefly about four feet down the wall, where the ledge was reinforced with stone in order to present interested passerby from going over the edge should they lean over the structure for a better view. It was also the same spot where Yu would always sit beside him when the two met up. Now, the spot was empty, with nothing but a shadowy memory lingering behind.

A memory…and something else. Something white that stood out in the afternoon sun against its dark stone surroundings.

Brow furrowed, Yosuke slipped his fingers between the stone, but the fit was too tight to reach the mysterious object. It appeared to be a piece of paper.

Curious and still desperate for a distraction, he grabbed a twig from a nearby tree and poked the paper free after a few moments.

"Yes!" he cheered as the note tumbled out and into the dirt. "Okay, what do we have here?"

As he thought, the object was a piece of paper, folded five ways into a smallish rectangle that fit neatly in the palm of his hand. It wasn’t contained in an envelope, but as he turned the paper over, he noticed there was a small inscription on the front.

_To my partner._

Honey-brown eyes shot open. Suddenly, everything else about the overlook lost importance. All his attention shifted to the tiny piece of paper nestled like a small bird in his palm.

He gently unfolded the paper and began to read.


	2. Dear Yosuke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke reads, and rereads, and rereads his discovery.

_Dear Yosuke,_

_I don’t know why I’m addressing this to you. If I was a better leader, maybe I’d have the courage to mail this to you … but then I’d still be leaving town and running from my emotions anyway._

_Even if you never see this, I want to put these feelings down somewhere. I want to put them into the universe because they aren’t doing anything positive staying bottled up inside me._

_I don’t want to leave this town. I don’t want to leave my friends or my family, but Yosuke, I really don’t want to leave you._

_It’s funny. When my dad and I started talking about college applications, he told me to pick a place where I could visualize myself going in the future. He wanted me to imagine my life in a new school, and if I was happy, it was the right pick._

_I’ve thought about my future a lot, and every time I try to imagine it, you’re always with me. I can’t imagine a future without you._

_But, if you were with me, I think I’d be happy almost anywhere._

_That’s silly and selfish of me, though. You have your own life, and I have no right to commandeer it._

_But that’s how I feel._

_You’ve always said I was your partner. I agreed, thinking it was the perfect way to describe our bond. Now, I wish I’d had the courage to tell you that I wanted that bond to become a relationship._

_I like you, Yosuke. I think I may even love you._

_But when you love someone, you let them live their own life._

_If nothing else, I want to leave this note here, in Inaba. My feelings belong here. They’re safe here. In the town that you live in._

_Love, Yu._

**Author's Note:**

> I'll see you guys again soon! Buh-byyyye!


End file.
